A quick break from politics today.
As a public service to those of you who may be looking for employment, here is my list of questions you should never ask a potential employer during a job interview:
- How many office supplies can I steal before you do something about it?
- Are you aware that my narcolepsy is protected by ADA laws?
- Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?
- Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?
- Is that your daughter? She looks much older than 12.
- Can I take a half day off if I accidentally drink too much during lunch?
- Do you frown upon acting out my sexual fetish during my lunch hour?
- Why do you hate America?
- You don't drug test, right?
- Are you wearing a toupee?
- Does your health plan cover anal warts?
- Do I have to work with women?
- Do you track Internet usage by employees?
- Would you like some meth?
- Do I have to dress up for the next interview?
- Have you tried the South Beach diet?
- Does my office come with a stocked wet bar?
- Will you pull my finger?
- What's your policy on wearing pants?
- Who else has been abducted by aliens?
- Can you pay me a month's salary up front so I can go on vacation?
- Where did you get that hideous tie?
- So do I get a paycheck, or is this all under the table?
- Does your health plan cover pets?
- Sometimes the voices tell me to stay home and clean my guns. Can I get paid time off for that?
- How long do you plan to stay here? Your job sounds more interesting than the one I am applying for and I'd rather do what you're doing.
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